I was going to tell you about the abysmal differences between the non existing 800 number and the invisible 24-7 customer service versus the detailed service received once at the Barcelona Airport... But for some reason, that it's something that can wait for now. I'll explain myself...
I have been trying to understand something that has me completely bewildered, to say the least! And I am talking about men, of course!
For some reasons that are obvious to me, but somehow are escaping the rest:
I am feeling older and uglier than ever before, cause the lines around my eyes are more visible now than ever. I am feeling (and probably cause I AM) fatter than ever!... when I look at myself in the mirror, I can see little bulges coming off my underarms and off the back of my sundress!
My stomach seems to have developed a sudden attraction for gravity, cause it keeps falling down... and my ass is not fit for a white woman!... I have a Jennifer Lopez ass!!! Can' t seem to keep it in place no matter what I try! Even when I'm wearing jeans, or any other kind of pants (which, by the way, I hate!) my ass keeps coming off the back... and my stomach coming off the front! I rather stand up until my legs and feet swell, than sit down and have all that mass come out like The Blob, flooding over my pants like in a horror movie!
But, despite all that... Men are falling around me like flies on the honey! Don't get it, really. It is the lowest I have ever felt about myself, but somehow it is the most attractive I have been to them!
They keep paying me compliments about my EYES! (the ones that have more lines than a Martian landscape!) ... my body! For crying out loud! The body that looks like one of those Spanish sausages that put me where I am now!!!!...... All and all, I have more success with men nowadays that I had in a very, very long time!! Still don't get it, but I swear it's the truth! I even had two guys fighting over me a couple of weeks ago!
Not that I don't like the attention, but it's kinda weird... if you know what I mean.
I started going to the gym before my trip to PR, cause I have to do something about that gravity thingy, and because I am tired of looking at myself and kinda see my aunt in the mirror!!!! That my friends, it's a horror movie in itself!!!
But I also have to stop eating the so many good things they have in Spain! That ain't helping at all, I know! Keeping fit was easier when I lived elsewhere! There are so many things for what I am hating Spain right now!!!!! But one thing at a time... first of all, put an end to the Wes Craven film of my life! That might do the trick... in the mean time, I will console myself with the studs that keep coming at me!
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