Confessions

After a life of living all on my own, and doing it all my way or no way at all, a few things became clear to me...

• Was ever too busy doing everything and anything else, but building on the very few things that are now important to me...

• I am not an immortal, wont be around forever...

• There is never enough time to do anything meaningful...

• We care about others, their pain, and things that really matter, a lot less we're ready to admit...

• Sex was, and still is a very comforting exercise... But, neither was as good as expected, nor better than those solo flights...

• I am, like everyone else, capable of murder and still sleep at night...

• Always treated love like a dirty word...

• And the ones who loved me like doormats...

• Running away was just a lame excuse not to face my inner demons...

• And while all of the above took place... I never stopped, not even for a minute, to see the big void growing inside of me.

So, now that I finally want to find love, and let it find me... It's like payback time and sex seems the only thing left for me... And not even that can I have with the one I love!

Now that I finally stopped running away, I am having a hard time tracing my steps back home.

And the big void inside... Well, turned out to be a black hole eating away the hope of a better self.