I don't know how to say this, but I just really need to get it out.
I like you a lot, and I have for awhile now. I have just been too scared to tell you. I can't stop thinking about you. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. Most days, if not all, I fall asleep looking at your picture, and it is your face the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning! I talk to that same picture as if you were in front of me... you never answer me, of course it just your image I see! I wrote my first poem in English because of you, because of the way you make me feel! I said to myself too many times already, I would never speak to you again, only to swallow my pride every time you say hi on MSN and I say hi back to you over and over again!
Most days, I'm so distracted I can barely function. I know that this may sound weird, but if I only had one day to live, I would want to spend it with you. I know we've never hung out, mostly because now that you have me closer to you, you never wanted to meet with me... The thing is, I have fallen so hard for you, I don't know what to do! I guess I like you so much because we have a lot in common, and because somehow you have won my heart... Dunno how you did it, just that it's yours!
I just wish that you lived closer so I could see you, even if you didn't know I was. Even if you didn't know I existed! If you only would want to take the chance and meet me! I just know that it would break my heart to let you go without at least knowing where you stand. So you can imagine how hard it is for me to know you are letting me go without even a word, a glance.
You once told me something it made me believe you felt for me the same way I feel for you... I was an ass then, I probably still am! But since then, I haven't been able to erase your words from my mind, I know I was special to you then... I know, because you made me feel that way! What happened since? You changed your attitude towards me, and I still don't know why. Every time we talked since, I felt you were pulling farther apart from me... and each time I still talk to you, whenever you decide to talk to me... well, you seem so distant and cold! It only makes me cry to sleep!
I don't want to feel like that anymore, I need to know what went wrong and if there's anything that can still be salvaged! If there is, please give me a signal... I will always be waiting for it! Secretly, but nevertheless waiting for it!
Either way I am in quite a predicament, because I think we could really make something special out of this. If you feel even remotely close to the way I feel, please let me know. Because like I said before, it kills me not knowing, ever knowing where I stand with you.
The saddest thing about all this, is that you probably don't even read my blog... and even if you did, you would probably don't care enough to give the answer I mostly long for!
Would you at least know I'm talking to you? Would you at least acknowledge I exist? And feel? And die for you to love me back? At least a little, even if it is just for a while!
Think that I am just a girl, telling the boy I like how much I care for him.
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